I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
