Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
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