Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Randomize
