have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
