Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
