My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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