We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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