btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
