This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
