is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
