You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize