Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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