the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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