I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
