Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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