reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
