if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
