the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
