I'm pants shitting drunk right now
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
