they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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