this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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