And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize