I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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