I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
