Someone shit on the floor
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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