You really coming over, don't trick.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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