My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
