Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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