you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
