We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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