The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
