hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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