On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
