If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I want to make a zoo with you.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
