I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize