that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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