I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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