yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
