You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
