i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
