you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
