She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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