I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
