She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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