Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
