Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm both gender and math confused
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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