And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Do you remember whose house we're in?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
