we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
