Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
