The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
