everyone is single if you try hard enough
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
