Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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