Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Let's paint friendship bongs
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Never joke about your clitoris.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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