I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
