Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
