So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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