dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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