that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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