I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
