So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
