this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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