finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
