I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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